I herd an advert the other day which said “50 years ago 74% of the population didn’t have an inside toilet, so it was a great time to be a plumber. 10 year years ago 74% of people didn’t have a mobile phone, so it was a great time to open a mobile phone shop. Today 74% of people don’t have a will ….”

The thing is that if you don’t have an in door toilet you suffer. If you don’t have a mobile phone you suffer. If you don’t have a will it’s not going to affect you one bit.

Here’s a better advert “Can’t be bothered making a will chick on www.dieintestate.com”

I’ve just discovered a sport known as “The Two Woman Luge”, basically two women dressed in lycra lay one on top of the other and go down together. It’s the only sport from the winter games to be shown on Granada Men and Motors.

A lot of negative things have been said recently as the debate about the need for national I.D. Cards rages on. Many people have chosen to argue that these cards infringe our civil liberties, cost too much, and are completely useless against foreign terrorists as they are only mandatory for British nationals.

These are good points but they have overlooked the must important criteria for any form of I.D, namely can said I.D. on it’s own be used to gain membership to Blockbuster Video.

The answer is no.

Crytozoolgy is the scientific study of mythical animals, they actually write journal articles which are in equal parts - based on evidence made up with trick photography, guess work, and the information on Pokemon top trumps,

Even though a Crytozoolgist has never seen the Lock Ness Monster they would be able to tell you all about them, in fact many people don’t realise that the popular 1980’s children cartoon “The Family Ness” was originally made for the Open University Crytozoolgy course.

Huddersfield Town player Danny Schofield has been experimenting with Psychokenesis in order to increase the clubs strike rate. Unfortunately he has experienced somewhat limited success.

For anyone who hasn’t see the film a group of Jamaican sprinters who can’t make it into the Summer Olympics decide to enter the Winter games instead, while you would think that this plot would lead to “Hilarious Consequences” the film does turn out to be funny.

I just think it a bit low of the British Olympic team to try to tap into the popularity of the “feel good film of the nineties” but entering an Heptathlet into the 2-woman bob.

Has Nicola Minichiello invented a new sport the “Octathlon” comprising: 100m hurdles, high jump, shot put, 200 m, long jump, javelin, 800 m, and bobsleigh!

Too Much Information Friday fact #2:

Johann Baptista Van Helmont, Alchemist, discoverer a photosynthesis, and the man who coined the phase “gas”, used to weigh his own poo!

Put that in your essay and reference it!

Cheryl Tweedy’s hand tattoo
Cheryl Tweedy’s tattoo on hand
Cheryl Tweedy hand tattoo
Cheryl Tweedy tattoo hand
Cheryl Tweedy’s tattoo hand
Cheryl Tweedy’s tattoo on her hand
Cheryl Tweedy’s wrist tattoo
and Cheryl Tweedy fake boobs

I’ve looked it up and I can’t find anything to say that she even has a tattoo on her hand or wrist. For anyone who is interested Cheryl Tweedy has two tattoos:

A butterfly on the back.

And a tribal pattern around her thigh.

“Deal Or No Deal” is bring Physics to a new audience, it’s “Schrodinger-atastic” as the penultimate box is a about to be opened instead of a “Live/Dead” Cat, we have a “Rich/Poor” Twat.

Maybe people think your sexy if you are the star of a hit TV show?

“Deal Or No Deal” is taking are screens by strom at the moment, so does that make Noel Edmunds sexy?

Bass, bless them, have also tried to tap into the marketing idea although glamour models aren’t the first thing that you think about in connection with real ale.

Heineken just don’t get it.