Step 1, Find a football club that will give you a long contract on silly wages.

Step 2, Refuses to do any training, they will soon stop picking you for the first team.

Step 3, Refuse to play for the reserves, it may make you unpopular with the fans but after all it’s beneath you!

Step 4, Refuse to attend any home matches, the fans will only shout at you if you do anyway.

Step 5, Refuse to let your club transfer you, you will never get a better contract elsewhere because of steps two and three so what would be the point.

Step 6, Stay at home, eat pies, and watch the money role in!

Step 7, If at all possible repeat the whole process.

Look very closely here is a rare picture of Ken Monkou actually playing football.