I can’t wait for the return of “Ask Ann Widdecombe”, it’s a sort of agony aunt program but instead of friendly advise you get exactly the type advice you’d expect from the darling of the right-wing. Here are some of my favourite pearls of wisdom.

Q. My boyfriend wants to get a tattoo on his face, what should I do?

A. Tell your Boyfriend not to get a tattoo of his face.

Q. My 16 year old daughter wants a boob job, what should I do?

A. Tell your 16 year old daughter not to get a boob job.

Q. My husband has been out of work of two year, what should I do?

A. Tell your husband to get a job,

Q. My housemate never cleans up after himself and the house is a mess, what should I do?

A. Tell you housemate to clean up after himself.

Q. I can’t stop buying new clothes which I can ill afford, what should I do?

A. Stop buying new clothes.

I must say that it a sign that I’m getting older that I listen to people like Ann Widdecombe, MIcheal Portillo, and even dare I say it David Mellor, and think I might not like you but I can’t disagree with what your saying.